Best Way to Deal with the Situation When a Student Has a Crush on You

My first crush, at the age of 14, was on my Technology teacher. I thought he was gorgeous and Technology became my favourite subject for a while. I forgot all about this until years later when I became a teacher myself and suddenly realized that one particular Year 9 boy was being incredibly attentive in my classes!

A student crush doesn’t have to be a problem, in fact, it can be quite sweet and flattering in some cases, but it goes without saying that it is not something to be encouraged! If it does become uncomfortable, or you feel that the student’s behaviour has become inappropriate, it is essential to tackle the issue directly. Remind the student that you are the teacher and that there are clear boundaries that will never be crossed. Try not to get into situations where you may be left on your own with the student, and avoid any physical contact with him or her. If you are really worried, it is a good idea to tell a colleague about the crush, in case it becomes a bigger problem.

Student Crushing Best Way to Deal with the Situation When a Student Has a Crush on You

Most student crushes are harmless and the student will grow out of them in time. Remember that once they reach a certain age, these young bodies are being surged with unfamiliar hormones and feelings that they might not be sure how to deal with just yet.

Student crushes are often more to do with the teacher’s passion for their subject and authoritative personality than their physical attrib­utes. Your confidence and dominance in the classroom can actually make you desirable!

Be aware: never, ever take advantage of this, and never encourage crushes. Your position dictates that you act as a professional role model for young people. Encouraging interests or activities of a sexual nature in school-age children is a direct contravention of your duty of care, and is illegal.

Even teachers of post-16 students should be aware that any romantic involvement with their students might mean their contract is termi­nated and their teaching record tainted.

What to do when a student has a crush on you

  •           Don’t overreact, but make it obvious that these feelings are not reciprocated.
  •           Treat the student exactly the same as everyone else. Even if you feel awkward about the situation, do not ignore or embarrass the student, or make them feel bad in any way.
  •           Do not accept gifts or trinkets, regardless of how innocent they may seem – this may only encourage the student.
  •           Avoid one-to-one and physical contact with the student wher­ever possible.
  •           Discuss the situation with your colleagues if you feel you need to.
  •           If the student tries to contact you at home or out of school hours, be very clear that this is not acceptable and will not be tol­erated.

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