Best Way to Enhance Your Sex Life

Sex is not only one of the richest human experiences, it can also keep your mind, body and spirit fit, young and beautiful.

Benefits of sex

The benefits of making love go way beyond merely provoking a contented smile. Psychosexual therapist Judi Keshet-Orr, who teaches sexual-awareness courses, promotes healthy sex as both life-enhancing and beautifying. ‘For starters, you feel great’, Judi enthuses. ‘But sex also keeps you in shape, relaxes you and is a effective de-stresser.’

Keep fit with sex

Regular exercise increases your libido, builds sexual stamina and charges your sexual energy. It also boosts the level of DHEA, a hormone that increases sexual excitement. And by being generally fitter, the chances are that you will improve your performance and are more likely to experience earth-shattering orgasms. The act of love-making is a wonderful workout. During sex you can actively firm up zones of your body, in particular your buttocks, thighs and abdominal muscles. As well as toning your body, sex gives you a high similar to the one you get when you’ve had a good workout session – only a zillion times better. For more powerful orgasms, exercise genital and pelvic muscles by squeezing then holding (repeat several times). Get the most out of sex by making as much noise as you want: this is a great form of release, whether or not you climax.

Enhance your sex life

Unless, like the legendary lover Casanova or the sex guru Ana’i's Nin, you have got your bedroom performance down to a fine art, you should be eager to learn more. Experiment: try different positions; be open-minded and discover your hidden passions. Take pleasure in the whole sexual act, be it in intensive foreplay or erotic massage. And do unto your partner what you would like your partner to do unto you.

As a therapist, Judi encourages her clients to develop a better understanding and greater awareness of sex. The magic word that she uses time and time again is ‘communication’. This doesn’t mean talking dirty, or having a clinical discussion about what you are going to do to each other: it could also be visual or physical communication rather than of the strictly audio variety. We are all aroused in different ways: you might want a soft, romantic caress, whereas your partner might have more animalistic intentions. Try to understand therefore what turns each of you on, and aim to become attuned to your partner’s needs.

Increase your sexual energy with acupressure

By using finger pressure on a certain point (just above your ankle), health guru Bharti Vyas beli eves that energy levels can be raised and sexual vitality enhanced. This is Bharti’s method: to find the spot, move your finger approximately four finger-widths above the tip of the prominent bone on the inside of the ankle, just behind the shinbone. Measure with one hand and apply pressure with the middle or index finger of the other; maintain the pressure for one minute.

Yoga for sex

Author of Yoga for Better Sex (Hamlyn, 1997), yoga guru Vimla Lalvari teaches yoga exercises that work on specific parts of your body, the pelvic-floor stretch being one. Vimla believes that if you do presex yoga, and hold tantric love positions during intercourse, not only will you have a firmer, more toned body, but your sexual experience will be heightened. ‘It’s preparation work for sex,’ says Vimla. ‘To hold the love positions you need to be supple, flexible and have muscle control. The yoga exercises correspond with certain sexual positions. Practising these with your partner is a form of foreplay, while doing them alone strengthens the parts of your body necessary to hold the poses. The deep breathing you undertake during yoga is also very important to love-making.’

Tantric sex

If the idea of an intensified climax or Vimla’s tantalising yogic foreplay appeals to you, then you might want to investigate tantric sex and try Vimla’s heart chakra, described in further detail below, which creates enormous sexual electricity even before the first physical touch. ‘The concept of this Karma Sutra love pose is to transfer energy to each other and attain divine bliss and hours of pleasure,’ explains Vimla. ‘By increasing the build-up of sexual tension before you even touch each other, you heighten arousal and improve love-making! All these ‘no-touching’ rules may sound boring, but Vimla assures me that this pose is unbelievably provocative. Give it a try and see how long you can last before leaping on top of each other.

The erotic massage

An erotic massage not only tones your physique, but also puts you in a state of total relaxation and helps you intuitively to understand and respond to your partner’s body. But don’t jump in at the deep end: the process should be a long, slow seduction. Ignore the obvious erogenous zones and instead linger on the shoulders, back, armpits, the nape of the neck, scalp, navel, legs and face, and you might just awaken senses that you didn’t know existed. During an erotic massage, most recipients experience heightened feelings of arousal, which are often followed by mind-blowing sex.

In this unrivalled state of arousal, it is even possible to climax without the assistance of hands-on genital stimulation or intercourse! For your erotic massage to be most effective, invest in a blended aromatherapy oil that includes such aphrodisiac essential oils as sandalwood and ylang-ylang. To experience an erotic nivana, smooth oil that has been pre­warmed over your partner’s body and then, using your hands (and if you like also your hair and body), slowly start massaging.