Best Way To Avoid Spoiling a Child

Spoiled children are rarely liked by others. Yet it’s unfair to reject a spoiled child, because it’s certainly not her fault that she behaves this way. No child is born spoiled, nor does she make herself spoiled. Spoiling is caused by parents and often grandparents. They do it for many different reasons:

  • A desire to give a child everything possible. Parents who had a very deprived upbringing are often determined to make sure their own child doesn’t have that experience. Spoiling can be one outcome of this approach.
  • Compensation for a difficult childhood. Everyone feels sorry for a child who has long periods of ill health, so it’s natural for parents to shower their sick child with toys, games, and as much attention as possible. If they take it to extremes, this form of compensation can turn into spoiling.

Avoid Spoiling Child Best Way To Avoid Spoiling a Child

  • An inability to say “no” to a child. A demanding toddler wants her own way, and her parents have to be quite determined to not always give in to her demands. Yet life is easier in the short term if the child gets what she wants, because this avoids confrontation. In the long term, however, this lack of firmness will make the child grow into a spoiled child.
  • A history of spoiling in the parents’ childhood. We all react to the way we were brought up, sometimes by mirroring it with our own children, and sometimes by turning against it completely. Parents who were overindulged in childhood will consider it a normal way to raise their own children.
  • A one-child household. Holding the center position in the family—without ever having to share it with any other chil­dren—means a child may become spoiled as her parents smother her with clothes, toys, gifts, love, and attention.

A spoiled child usually becomes unpopular because she thinks only of herself, because she’s unable to share and take turns, and because she’s insensitive to other people’s feelings. If these personality traits continue into adulthood, rejection and unpopularity will also continue. That’s why it is best to tackle spoiling right at the outset.

People differ in their attitudes to overindulging babies. Some think that babies can’t possibly be spoiled because they don’t know what’s going on around them. Others think that spoiling can start at birth, and that an overindulged baby will develop into an overindulged child.

It is true that even a young baby can soon learn that crying is an effective way to get attention from mom and dad, but fail­ure to react to a crying baby can have the serious effect of teach­ing the child that she is not important. Ignoring a child’s cry communicates the message that, although she is unhappy, her parents will not do anything to make her feel better. Repeated experiences like this can reduce a baby’s feelings of security, and she may even cry more frequently as a result. The best approach is one that achieves a balance between rushing to a crying baby every time she makes a sound and ignoring her completely when she howls between meals.

Spoiling is not just a matter of giving a child too many toys, or too much attention; it’s more about the way these things are given to her, why they’re given to her, and how she understands the situation. Occasionally, your child should not be given every­thing she wants. Naturally, she’ll react badly when this happens, but it will teach your child how to adapt when things don’t go her way. This is not being cruel or letting her down; rather, it’s a sensible strategy to stop your child from becoming spoiled.

Avoid Spoiling Child 1 Best Way To Avoid Spoiling a Child

You can avoid spoiling your child in other ways, including asking your child to explain why she wants something. It’s tempting to accede to nagging, simply for the sake of a quiet life. But then the child may not value what she gets—instead, the act of acquisition may become more important to her than the actual enjoyment of the object. Asking your child to explain why she wants something forces her to think about her request. It also shows her that it’s better to ask nicely for something than to stomp about angrily. Try to encourage your child to accept a compromise between what she wants and what you want, and once a deal is struck, don’t go back on it later when she starts to nag at you all over again.

A young child who is spoiled sees the world around her only from her own point of view. She thinks only about herself, and her desires; therefore, she must be encouraged to appreci­ate other people’s feelings—for example, you could point out how terrible her friend felt when she snatched her toy away from her. Your child may be completely uninterested at first in what you have to say, but she’ll get the message eventually.

Leave a Reply