Best Way to Bond with Your Baby

Bonding is a very special process: a wonderful experience through which you and your baby learn to love each other. This relationship may begin to form as soon as you set eyes on your baby, or it may take many months to establish, strengthening every time you interact. Bonding is not only mutually rewarding on an emotional level; it is as crucial to your baby’s long-term development as food and warmth.

How you bond with your baby

If your labour went well and your baby was handed to you immediately after delivery, she may respond to you straight away by tooking at you and perhaps suckling at your breast, and you may feel a surge of love. Your baby will feel the closeness of your body, identify your scent, hear the sound of your voice, took into your eyes, and perhaps get her first taste of your breast milk. All of these things will calm her and help her to feel secure.

Touching

One of the most powerful ways in which you bond with your baby is through physical closeness and skin-to-skin contact, which brings warmth and security to you both, instilling a sense of well-being. This closeness with your baby is also important for her emotional and physical development. Research has shown, for example, thatpremature babies thrive from the skin contact involved in “kangaroo care”, when babies spend time lying against their mother or father’s chest, instead of in an incubator. Set aside some peaceful time when you can hold your baby against your skin, and enjoy the sense of closeness it brings. Bathe her gently in warm water, holding her securely, and afterwards massage her with baby oil.

Talking

Your baby will love you to talk to her. Even a newborn will respond to the sound of your voice, turning her head towards it and expressing her pleasure by wriggling or kicking. It doesn’t matter what you say; she’ll love the attention, and you’ll enjoy watching her responses.

Look at her when you talk to her. Making eye contact is a great way of communicating, and it will really help to strengthen the level of understanding between you, as well as help her social skills.

Bonding takes time

Bonding is a process, and it may take weeks or even months before you begin to form a loving relationship with your baby, especially if you had a difficult labour or your baby needed special care. It’s important not to take on any pressure about bow you should or should not feel; go at your own pace, and remember that whether the bond is instant or gradual, sooner or later it will happen as you care for your baby.

Getting the right support

Up to 30 per cent of new mothers are reported to have some difficulty in bonding with their babies at first. If you feel like this, try to make sure there is someone -your partner, mother, or a close friend – who can support you and who will also interact with your baby, to take the pressure off you.

Having a new baby is exhausting so try to cut back on activities around the home, and enlist the help of friends and family. And try to get some sleep when your baby falls asleep during the daytime. Watch out, too, for the post-partum blues. This is the name given to a period of tearfulness that occurs in many mothers at around three to four days alter the birth of the baby. These feelings of being completely unable to cope are due to hormonal changes and usually pass after a few days.

Postnatal depression

In some cases, mothers who have difficulty bonding are experiencing postnatal depression. Signs of this include lack of energy, irritability, loss of enthusiasm, and feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope for an extended period of time. If you suspect you may be suffering from postnatal depression, talk to your doctor or health visitor and ask for support from friends or family. This is absolutely crucial to your recovery.

One of the best ways to speed recovery from postnatal depression is to spend as much time as possible interacting with your baby. Physical contact stimulates “mothering” hormones, which can have a relaxing effect.