Best Way to Cope with Children’s Sleep Problem

When parents talk about their children’s sleep problems, they usually mean that they are the ones with the problems. Children tend to get as much sleep as they need simply by falling asleep whenever they are tired. The problem for parents is if the child falls into a pattern of sleeping more by day than by night and then disturbs their sleep by waking often or by not wanting to sleep at all. Some children need little or no more sleep than their parents – and sometimes even less!

It’s important to work out how to handle a sleep problem because it’s all too easy to become tired and run down by broken sleep. Your health visitor will be happy to discuss it with you. You should aim to be consistent and firm, so that your child knows what is expected of him, yet at the same time loving and flexible enough to take into account his desire to be near you and his natural fear of the dark.

Sleep patterns change over the months, especially in babies, but even a few nights with badly disturbed sleep can be difficult to cope with. Some mothers use the time that their baby sleeps during the day to rest themselves, rather than to dash round doing all the chores. It’s tempting to get things done, but much more sensible to look after yourself. If you mother yourself enough, you’ll be able to enjoy mothering your baby more.

Sleep and the young baby

Young babies can’t last through the night without being fed several times. Be prepared to accept this and try to catch up on your sleep when you can during the day. If your breastfed baby starts sleeping through the night early on, try to hand-express some milk during the night. You make more milk at night than during the day and if your baby is not feeding, your milk supply may begin to fail.

Some parents enjoy having their baby in bed with them. This makes breastfeeding easy because the mother can simply feed her baby as they lie next to each other. And because the baby may feed relatively frequently, she makes plenty of milk. However, the baby will grow up believing that the parents’ bed is his bed too, and may find it difficult to adjust to moving into his own bed later. Don’t have the baby in bed with you if you or your partner have taken any drugs (including sleeping pills or tranquillizers), have drunk too much or are very overweight.

Babies are much less likely to inhale regurgitated milk if they are not laid down flat immediately after a feed. If you want to put your baby down, either put him in a reclining chair or prop up the legs of the cot about fifteen centimetres (6 in) at the head end. The safest position for a young baby to sleep in is on his side. You may find that it helps to keep him there if you put a rolled towel at his back.

It’s important that you’re near enough to hear your baby at night. If not, buy a baby alarm you can plug in wherever you are in the house.

Sleep problems in an older child

Children feel secure and comfortable if they have a regular going-to-bed routine which might include a last snack or small drink, undressing, washing or bathing, putting on nightclothes, getting into bed and having a little time for a story or to talk about the events of the day and what will happen tomorrow. Many parents share a short prayer time with their child too. But however reliable a pattern you have set, there will be times when your child doesn’t want to stay in bed, can’t get to sleep, wakes up and comes downstairs or into your bed, or cries and doesn’t want you to leave him.

Try to work out why your child is behaving like this. He may be feeling unwell, uncomfortable, cold, hungry or afraid of the dark or being left alone. He may have had a disturbing dream or want to go to the lavatory. More likely, though, is that he simply would prefer to be with you, especially if he thinks you’re having a good time and he’s left out of it. Attend to his physical needs and let him stay with you if he’s unwell or afraid or if you are happy to have him up. If you feel he won’t get the sleep he needs unless he’s in bed, or you need some time to yourself, take him back to bed and stay with him until he’s happy to be left or falls asleep.