Best Way to Look Confident – Even If You’re Faking It

You have to give an oral report infront of your class. Your crush is heading toward you . . . here he comes . . . closer. . . closer. . . You ‘re heading into an interviewfor yourfirst job. You want to look confident. Like it’s no big deal. You’re in total control, very coooool. But nope. You feel nervous. Self-conscious. Really, really dumb-like the biggest idiot in the universe.

Hey, you know what? You can fake self-confidence-and they’ll never know.

Sherry Maysonave is going tell you how to look confident even when you not feeling it. She’s the president of Empowerment Enter­prises and author of Casual Power: How to Power Up Your Nonverbal Communication and Dress Downfor Success. Here’s what Sherry says:

Perform a simple little magic trick in your mind. It’s called the “It’s Showtime-Lights, Camera, Action” magic trick. It’s a popular secret with successful actors, speakers, athletes, singers, and performers of all types. Just follow these steps:

Step 1: Choose your scenario:

This magic trick begins in your mind. You pretend you are the per­son who would best get through the situation. Say you’re nervous about your tennis tournament. Pick out your favorite tennis champ and be her. Or you’re nervous about talking to the new guy in school. Pretend you’re a celebrity whom everyone adores. (I’m going to try this’. I will be Gwyneth Paltrow. No, Jennifer Aniston—that’s who I’ll be because then, of course, I get to walk in with Brad Pitt!)

Step into the character of your choice in your mind first. Stay with this for a few seconds, minutes, or long enough to let the feel­ing of it wash over you. Tell the self-conscious or nervous part of you goodbye, you’ll see that part of you later.

Step 2: Get into the role physically.

Silently say these words to yourself and say them with enthusiasm, “(Your Name), it’s SHOWTIME! Now hit it! LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!!!” and instantly become the confident you. Allow your body to shift, standing tall and proud.

You can train your body to quickly respond to the “It’s Show­time” command by practicing these I-Am-Confident looks, postures, and actions:

Stand tall, with your shoulders back.

Hold your head high as if it is attached to the ceiling by a string that will not let you look down or let your shoulders droop.

Smile. If that’s asking too much, then just hold your mouth slightly open in a pleasant expression. Tight lips are a dead giveaway of hidden nervousness or upset.

Look people in the eye. Making eye contact and maintaining it projects ultimate confidence. It also conveys trustworthiness.

Keep your hands away from your clothing (no fidgeting, tug­ging, or pulling!). Also keep your hands away from your face, your mouth (no nail biting!), and your hair. Excessive touching or twirling of the hair denoted nervousness or emotional upset.

Stand firm. If you shift your feet around or from side to side when standing, you are saying on the nonverbal level that, in­side, you do not feel confident or comfortable with yourself. How we stand affects how we feel about ourselves and how others perceive us, especially our confidence level.

Sit tall, if you are required to sit. Confidence doesn’t publicly slump or attempt to lie down in a chair. Slide your rear all the way to the back of the chair with your back flat against the chair back; this will require you to sit up straight without slumping your shoulders.