Best Way to Recover from a Miscarriage

Immediately after a miscarriage, you will probably be primarily con­cerned with how you are feeling physically. You will feel sore and may be very tired. After taking something for your discomfort and getting some sleep, what has happened will begin to sink in. You have lost your pregnancy, your plans for a baby. You may feel angry that nothing could be done to avoid this outcome. After anger, often comes guilt. You may dwell upon what you think you could or would have done to prevent this loss. You will question your decisions and your actions. “If only I would have taken more time to rest,” “I wish I hadn’t kept work­ing so hard,” “I shouldn’t have had sex the night before,” “I wanted this to happen because I didn’t want to get pregnant in the first place.” You may move back and forth between grief, anger, and guilt for sev­eral months.

While you are in the emotional recovery period, some days you may want to talk with family and friends or coworkers about your sadness. On other days you may want to pretend it didn’t happen. Your family and friends may be tentative about approaching you or unsure about how to comfort you. They may try to tell you that you can always have another child or that the loss was for the best. This is probably not what you want to hear, but at first almost nothing they say will make you feel better.

There are several ways you can help yourself through this difficult time. You may find some comfort in having a keepsake of the preg­nancy, perhaps an early sonogram or a baby toy. When you feel emo­tionally healed, you will be able to put this memento away. You can find a group of women who have had a similar experience. There are miscarriage support groups in most communities. You may find people you can talk to about how you are feeling within one of these groups. Ask your doctor about local groups or check on the Internet. There are also several national organizations that offer support. If you find yourself getting very depressed, unable to eat or sleep, and crying con­stantly, you may want to seek professional counseling and medication. While some women maintain that they never fully get over their mis­carriages, most report that with the support of friends and family and, for some, with professional counseling, they are able to accept what has happened and move on with their lives.