Best Way to Teach a Child to Be Polite

The way a child behaves toward others has a direct effect on the way others behave toward him. Politeness is Part of this. Politeness, however, assumes less significance than it did in previous decades. What is accepted by many contemporary Parents would have been frowned upon by previous generations.

But this doesn’t mean that all forms of manners in children should become a thing of the past. Politeness brings a child a number of benefits. For instance, politeness is likely to make your child popular with others. A child who says “please” when he wants to borrow a toy from a friend will be more liked than one who simply snatches it out of the friend’s hand without asking. Politeness has practical benefits, too: for example, a child who says “thank you” when given a present is more like­ly to receive another present than a child who takes it without comment or as his due. Your child’s politeness can help put oth­ers at ease, because they will probably assume that the child will also be well behaved, even though this isn’t always the case.

Your child’s attitude toward politeness stems directly from you and your behavior. If your family values include being polite and respectful to others, then your child’s behavior will show this. Hearing you say “please” and “thank you” provides your child with a model to imitate in his own friendships. Do show polite­ness toward your child as well, not just to other adults—there’s every reason to treat children politely. Encourage your child, from the age of three or four, to say “please” and “thank you.”

Don’t get angry with your child when he isn’t polite, espe­cially before age five. Chances are, your child has simply for­gotten what you told him, or he didn’t really grasp the idea in the first place. Your child may not pick up social conventions easily, and so you may have to specify the expectations: for instance, that he should say “please” when he wants some­thing, that he shouldn’t barge in front of others in a line, that he should apologize when he realizes he has made a mistake. Your child will understand and follow your rules eventually.