Best Way to Dealing with Toddler Night Waking

When children of around a year old wake at night, many of them will not simply turn over and go back to sleep but will wake their parents up as well! Children generally will compensate for losing sleep at night by sleeping for longer during daytime naps. However, this will probably not be an option for you and you may well prefer to enjoy the day with your baby and for all the family to sleep well at night.

Habitual waking

If your child has got into the habit of night waking – because this is what it is, a habit – you can help him change it. There is seldom any other reason for night waking, other than during periods of ill-health, that isn’t caused by not having learned to be self-sufficient, so that he is unable to gel himself back off to sleep without your assistance, for example, if you have got into the habit of feeding your baby until he falls asleep, or holding or rocking him, he will be unable to fall asleep by himself if he wakes in the night. Given that a baby is on a 50-minute sleep cycle, compared to an adult’s 90-minute one, this can mean regular wakings during the night, when you are needed to help your child get back to sleep.

What you need to do is give your child the opportunity of learning how to be self-sufficient, and allow him to learn how to go to sleep by himself. If he has learned how to sleep with you cuddling him, he can learn a new routine with your patience and commitment. This means that when, during his 50-minute sleep cycle, he hits a patch of light sleep and hall-wakes or wakes, he will go back to sleep by himself. This is what we all do, every night. He may be disinclined to learn this new skill, because he is familiar with what he knows, but everyone in the family benefits if you help him make this change.

Making a new habit

As well as making sure that the bedtime routine is now a feature, which should help him adjust to this new idea of sleeping throughout the night, you will also have to reduce all stimulation at night when he does wake. This includes breast-feeding him or giving him any sort of bottle at night. He may ask for a bottle or a feed because he associates this with going to sleep, but, unlike the first year, you don’t need to give him a bottle during the night as he gets all the calories he needs during the day. Feeding now will only stimulate his digestive system and disrupt his sleep pattern further.

In order for your toddler to learn how to get to sleep by himself, you may have to tolerate his protests and tears for a short period. Many parents find it helpful to bring about change gradually. What is important is that you are consistent. So, next time he wakes and asks for milk, say “No” gently but firmly, tuck him in again, and leave the room. If he cries, as is likely, wait for five minutes before going back into his room. Reassure him, but again say “No” to his request, and do not get him up. Tuck him in again, and leave the room. Increase the time you stay away by five minutes after each visit, up to 20 minutes, until he has fallen asleep.

Leaving your child to cry for 10 minutes or so will do him no lasting harm if it is within the context of your loving care. He won’t be able to learn what is expected of him unless you are consistent, so don’t give in halfway through. It sometimes helps to start by leaving him to go to sleep on his own during his daytime nap, as you will be less tired during the day.