Best Way to Encourage Your Growing Child to Interrupt Less

Young children are, by nature, egocen­tric. In other words, they tend to think only of themselves, only of their feelings, only of their wants. As they develop in understanding and sensitivity, children begin to consider the per­spective of others—this process starts during the first year of life and continues throughout childhood. One of the effects of a child’s egocentricity is that he expects to come first in every­thing. Your three-year-old doesn’t like to wait his turn in line, for instance, and so he barges to the front or gets upset. Nor does he like to wait his turn to say something, and so he inter­rupts you in the middle of a sentence.

These interruptions are not malicious or naughty—they are a genuine reflection of the way your child perceives his world at that time. Your child will become more aware of social responsi­bility by the time he’s about five years old; in the meantime, though, interruptions may be a typical part of his behavior. The following techniques will help you encourage your growing child to interrupt less, either behaviorally or verbally:

• Accept that interruptions are normal in young children. Of course, you will be annoyed when your child tries to talk to you in the middle of your conversation with someone else, especially if he does this regularly. But you can at least take comfort in the fact that this is a reflection of your child’s developmental stage, not his difficult personality.
• Explain turn-taking to your child. Tell your child explicitly about taking turns. Explain this in terms he can understand, giving examples of how turn-taking will benefit him; for example, waiting in line means that others can’t barge in front of him. Your message will get through to him eventually.
• Take a consistent approach. The most effective way to dis­courage interruptions is to be consistent. When your child interrupts, finish whatever you were doing before you respond to him. Naturally, you have to be flexible—some­times your child’s interruptions are a sign of a genuine problem that requires your immediate attention—but in most instances, wait before you respond to him.
• Practice turn-taking at home. The more experience your child gets waiting to say something, or waiting to take his turn, the better. Turn-taking can be practiced at home while play­ing games, or while having normal discussions at family mealtimes. When your child does interrupt, remind him that he has to wait.
• Have realistic expectations. Interruptions will become less fre­quent only when your child has matured to a developmen­tal stage in which he recognizes the importance of other’s feelings. So it is unrealistic to expect a two- or three-year-old child never to interrupt. Your child only develop this per­spective when he has reached the age of four or five years.

Occasionally, your child’s interruptions may be attention-seeking, with the sole aim of making him the center of your attention. Since most interruptions are for the purpose of stat­ing an opinion or asking a question, one sign that interruptions may be attention-seeking is when they are repetitive. In addi­tion, your child won’t be particularly interested in the answers you give him. The most effective way to tackle those sorts of interruptions is to ignore them. However, if you find that your child does interrupt constantly, consider why he has an emo­tional need to do so. Maybe, your child feels unable to gain attention from you unless he interrupts. Think about the way you and he relate to each other, in order to satisfy yourself that your child is able to get your attention and interest without pushing his way into your conversation with others.