Best Way to Potty Train Your Toddler

You cannot train a child to use his potty until his nervous system is developed enough to control the bowel and bladder sphincter muscles. This generally happens between 18 and 36 months, with girls tending to be ready before boys

In the past babies were regularly sat on potties, until they had passed water, which avoided at least one wet nappy while giving the impression that they were being “trained”. Predicting a time when you know your child is likely to have a bowel movement, for example after eating, and sitting him on his potty then until he does so may teach him that this is what his potty is for, but it won’t teach him to control his bowel movements. That will only happen when he is developmentally ready.

In addition, it won’t be possible to potty train your child until he is aware of the sensation of wanting to go, is physically able to control the urge until he reaches the potty, and can sit down safely on it. All these skills have to be mastered before you can expect your child to manage without nappies.

Beginning training

Look out for signs of training readiness, which suggest that it might be worth introducing the idea. These include being aware of having a wet nappy or of doing a bowel movement, or sometimes having a dry nappy for a long period, which indicates that your child’s bladder is able to store urine in larger quantities. Your child may also show an inclination to copy you by volunteering to use a potty.

In summer months, allow your child to play outside without his nappy on. Without a nappy on, doing a wee is much more obvious! And this will help him to understand what it is you are referring to when you ask him if he wants to do a wee. For boys, imitation is important, so let him watch his father or older brother use the toilet.

Make sure you don’t give mixed messages about your child’s bowel movements. It’s confusing to him if you praise his efforts, then say they are nasty or dirty. Be positive about any successes, but deliberately ignore accidents when they occur. Your child really cannot help himself and, because children focus so exclusively on one thing at a time, even when he is trained there are still bound to be accidents sometimes.

Above all, don’t get emotionally fraught about the process, which can become all too common if you start trying to potty-train your child before he is ready. If your child is having repeated accidents then stop, and go back to nappies for a few weeks. Don’t attempt to move from nappies to pants at any time of stress. It’s not fair to ask your child to deal with too much at once – wait for a more settled time.

Controlling the bowels

You may find that even when your child is happy to use the potty for passing water, having a bowel movement is a different proposition, and he may want to continue doing this in a nappy. From his point of view, it is quite a different sensation doing this on the potty or toilet to doing it in a nappy, and some children find it a bit strange. Often, they will wait until they have had their night-time nappy put on before evacuating their bowels. Although this can be rather frustrating, try to stay calm. Your child’s anxiety will pass in time. Do not hurry him.