Best Way to Prepare for Pregnancy Mentally

The first step in having a baby is examining your current situation with your partner and then taking a look at how your life might change with pregnancy. The following exercise may help both of you clarify your feelings about having a baby. Don’t be afraid if you find that your opin­ions differ. It’s better to know about these differences early on so you can talk them through.

We suggest that you and your partner write down the questions below and answer them separately. Share your answers at a time when you can both pay full attention to each other.

These are suggested questions; that is, you can tailor them to your specific situation. Remind each other that this is how you believe you’ll be, and that no one can predict exactly how things will turn out. (Even if you’re already pregnant, you may still find answering most of the following questions helpful.)

•  What do I see as the obstacles to having a baby?
•  How can I overcome these barriers?
•  Do I believe my relationship can handle the work of planning a pregnancy, nine months of being pregnant, and providing care for a child through years of dependency?
•  Do I have any idea what kind of parent my partner will be?
•  Do I have any idea what kind of parent I will be?
•  Can I contribute a great deal of time and money to a new mem­ber of the family, and am I willing to do it?
• Who will have primary responsibility to care for the baby? Will it be equal?
•  Who will make major decisions for the baby? Will it be equal?
•  How will being a parent impact my job/career?
• How will being a parent impact my partner’s job/career?
• Do I feel my partner and I can continue with our current work schedules? If not, who should change, and why?
•  How will being a parent impact my social life—vacations, week­ends, free time?
• How will being a parent impact my partner’s social life—vaca­tions, weekends, free time?
• If I decide not to get pregnant now, will my biological clock allow me to plan for a baby later?

Discuss how you think you should address any differences in your answers. Then ask yourselves if you feel you can move forward to plan this journey together?

Parenting is not for everyone. If you find you have major disagree­ments about becoming a parent, now is the time to recognize it and to develop a plan to resolve the differences or admit to yourself (and your partner) that you’re not ready to take the journey. Communication is crucial in a relationship, especially when planning a family. In some sit­uations, you as a couple may want to consider getting counseling to assist with resolving your differences or establishing better communication.