Best Way to Stop Your Child’s Foul Language

Watching your child develop language is one of the rewards of parenthood, as you witness her progression from mere babbling toward more mature sounds, and then on to actual words and sentences. This joy soon turns to shock when you suddenly hear your child curse and swear like a pirate.

Since young children do not have well-developed moral understanding, the blame for most instances of children under the age of three or four using foul language can be laid at the door of adults or older children. A preschool child who swears when not obtaining her way is almost certainly mimicking adult behavior that she has seen. She is unlikely to have any idea of what the words actually mean—just that it’s the sort of thing grownups say when they get angry.

If you hear your young child swear, you will probably react in one of the following ways:

• With uncontrollable laughter. The incongruity of your child using very adult language can seem comical, even though you disapprove of the language itself, and you may burst out laughing. Unfortunately, she may interpret this as your approval of swearing.
• By giving your child a severe scolding. You may be so annoyed that you reprimand your child strongly, with the aim of ensuring she doesn’t use these words again. This strategy may backfire. If you draw undue attention to swearing, your child will immediately realize that a swear-word is a special word with a special effect—and that it is a good way to get your attention. This awareness may make her want to con­tinue swearing.
• By ignoring her. This is probably the best way to deal with an incident of swearing at this age. Chances are, your child has only used the word casually and it will quickly pass out of her vocabulary.

A child of school age is often attracted to swear words pre­cisely because she knows adults use them, and she thinks that by adopting grown-up mannerisms she will become more grown-up herself. Your child also knows the distinction between a “good” word and a “bad” word. So explain to your child that swearing is something neither children nor adults should do, and that other children may not want to play with her if she swears. At home you must set a good example.